Hi,I did the following:
Q&A: Anyone have any good PeTA jokes or parodies?

I hear “MAD” magazine have “PeTArd” is parody of PeTA few years ago, cannot find it. Friend of my lover Kyojin make “PoTTY Animal Tripe” magazine is parody of “PeTA Animal Times” magazine. Anyone see “MAD” parody of PeTA or other jokes and parodies of it?

The following is the answer:

Answer by Bizhen
I have heard people mention the “MAD” parody, but I have not seen it. I would like to. PETA certainly deserves to be parodied, because it is so absurd. One of my past boyfriends did a parody. It has a true incident with “Ingrid Newjerk” sending a letter protesting the fact that Palestinians used a donkey for a bombing but did not care about the humans who were killed. She said, “We jackasses must stick together after all!” It speaks of “Dr. Neal Barnyard” who has a Ph.D. in ancient Sumerian Plumbing and writes about vegetarian diet and exaggerates any problems with meat but ignores any with vegetables. “Spam Anderson” tells about her intelligent dog. When it was a puppy, it defecated upon the floor, so she taught it a lesson by rubbing its nose in the mess and throwing it out the window. Now that it is grown, it still defecates upon the floor, and then it rubs its nose in it and jumps out the window. It is smarter than Spam Anderson. Spam receives GRRs for giving ,000 to a young gymnast, rather than chickens, and for writing a celebrity gossip novel, rather than one about circus animals. A news bulletin says Giant Killer Tomatoes invaded PETA headquarters and exterminated the staff there for advising everyone to consume only vegeatables. In the books section, “007″ investigates KFC’s treatment of chickens in “Chickenfinger”.
EDIT: William has sent me several messages, often repeating the same mindless “gou pi” trying to justify PETA’s killing of 17,400 animals in its care 1998-2008.
I have seen the Summer 2010 “PETA’s Animal Times”, so I add what William omitted!
Page 2-Ingrid Newkirk’s editorial. She has said so many dumb, harmful and criminal things that it is easy to parody her.
Pg.3- Homeless animals and memorial to many pets killed at shelters, but it does not tell that PETA killed 97% of its animals, i.e. 17,400, in 1998-2008.
Pg. 4- Plea to donate to PETA for a memorial to your “true friends”! How shameless to use grief against people and try to hustle more money from the death of pets!
Pp. 4&5- Ads for PETA merchandise! More silly hustles for bucks!
Pg. 6- PETA Victory, Lufthansa Airlines stops taking animals to labs for testing. This is s big loss for logical people, because animal testing has provided us with vaccines for diptheria, hepatitus, Lyme disease, measles, polio, rabies, rubella, tetanus and whooping cough for humans, many vaccines for animals, research on many disease and tretment for many conditions. i9 can list many, but I trust logical people get the idea. It is horrible for PETA to try to hinder animal testing that is so vital to providing medicines. William applauds PETA’s hindrances of animal testing, and he is criminal for doing that.
Pg. 7- Fascinating World of Cows! WTF? How absurd!
Pg. 8- Ban on dog chaining! So dogs are supposed to be loose and free to bite people who walk by the homes of dog owners. Dogs should be banned in cities.
Pg. 10- PETA Wins page (Civilization Loses)!
Pg. 11- PETA wants Animal Planet investigated for Mike Tyson’s pigeon races, but it ignores the crimes of “Whale Wars” against Japanese sailors. Misplaced priorities are at work in PETA. Applauds British bill to give vegans same freedom of expression as religious groups. This admits PETA is a quasi-religion, as I knew long ago.
Pg. 12- French Pate De Foie Gras Farms! I see no valid reason to believe PETA in such matters. It is clearly badly biased and distorts, lies and exaggerates in its scams. It surely stages incidents as well.
Pg. 14-International news, mainly ant-fur and anti-leather! What sane person cares about anything PETA says in the matter? I do not allow moronic tyrants to dictate what I wear or do not wear.
Pg. 15- Vegan Cook-Off ended 8/31/10! Great!
Pg. 17- Celebrities speak for PETA! Let us sane people boycott the PETA shills, e.g. Kellan Lutz, Matt Damon, Kirsten Dunst, etc.
Pg. 18- Alleged Sun Pets Abuse! Ignore such accusations that are surely contrived!
Pg. 20-Plastic on Beaches! Pam Anderson’s Breasts?
Pg. 21- Neal Barnyard (Dr. of What?)makes a fool of himself as usual. This time he claims eating meat is as bad for health as smoking. Who believes such obviously absurd “ngao si” as that?
Pg. 22- Eva Mendes and Joaquin Phoenix in a sensationalistic anti-fur rant. Boycott these unprincipled scoundrels’ movies!
Pg. 24- Readers help animals! How about someone helping humans, as I do as a Registered Nurse?
Pg. 25- Alleged Elephant Abuse! They must be joking!
Pg. 26-Ask Carla! One topic is not dissecting animals in Biology classes. How do future surgeons learn their trade if PETA forbids dissection? PETA does not think profoundly.
Pg. 27- Plea to make a gift annuity to PETA. More shameless hustling for bucks! This is the bottom line!
Pg. 28- ADS!!! More junk for sale. making bucks is PETA’s real purpose for certain!
Pg. 30- Put PETA in your will! How shameless! No way I would do that! PETA charges SeaWorld with manslaughter! This is becoming quite dangerous, so we must stop PETA now! Ryan Gosling sends letter to McDonald’s to stop scalding chickens to death. A few years ago, PETA was fighting KFC but said McDonlad’s was behaving properly. has McDonald’s stopped bribing PETA? Pam Anderson’s vegan shake! What sane person cares what this repulsive imbecile says? She is so grotesque and tasteless.
Back Outside Cover (Pg. 32)- Wool and Mutton Boycott! Not for me! I wear and eat anything I choose and do not allow moronic tyrants to dictate to me.

Answer by william
PETA has just convinced the Department of Homeland Security to adopt dogs from shelters rather than buy from breeders… They have also convinced Lufthansa airlines to stop shipping dogs & cats to animal testing laboratories… And it the latest Animal Times, they ran a story about how one person in Charlestown, WVA was able to get a anti-dog-chaining law passed by the county commissioners… the same issue exposed abuse on a Foie Gras farm.

So if you want to make fun of that, go right ahead.

Answer by Sin-Laan
Someone can parody the shameless hustling for money in each issue of the magazine. How about having Ingrid Newkirk tell readers to leave all of their money to PETA in their wills and then jump off buildings? It is nearly that bad. You should mention the dumb celebrities that have been spokespersons for PETA or posed for its ads, e.g. Pam Anderson, Bill Maher, Anna Nicole Smith, Joan Rivers, Kimberly Conrad-Hefner, Holly Madison, and such retards. Pamela Anderson said Jennifer Lopez was an idiot for wearing fur. My goodness, Jennifer Lopez is much smarter than Pamela Anderson for certain. Pamela Anderson was shown wearing the “V” pin PETA sells. When she wears it, it means “Vacuum (in her head)”, not “Vegetarian”. Bill Maher is so obnoxious that he offends many people and has had a TV show canceled for his brutal remarks. PETA is dumb to choose such a creep as a spokesman. EDIT: William applauds curbs on animal testing, but that is not amusing at all. Animal testing has helped provide us with many medicines, and stopping it would cause much needless suffering and death to millions of humans and other animals. There are many silly things in any issue of “PETA’s Animal Times” that he evidently ignores. Not long ago, Ingrid Newkirk wanted to make ice cream from human milk. In the past, the magazine has told children to drink soft drinks rather than milk and told them to cut biology classes that have dissection. All of this is unintentionally hilarious if one appreciates dark humor. PETA is so ridiculous that it is a self-parody.

Answer by Jeffrey
I’ve seen “PETA’s Animal Times” at libraries, and it’s so ridiculous, it is good for a few morbid laughs. I look askance at it calling pets our “true friends”. My true friends are intelligent humans, and PETA believes that’s wrong, evidently. William speaks of abuse on a pate de foie gras farm. That is one for “James Bond Agent 007″ to tackle. He has done such trivial things (to PETA fanatics) as stopping a robbery of the gold in Fort Knox, a nuclear bomb ransom, a plot to ruin British agriculture, etc. but now he takes on a really “important” case and investigates abuse of a few geese at a farm. I guess “Goldfinger” becomes “Goose Liver” to PETA. I can hardly believe William is serious about this. Investigate pate de foie gras farms, really? Tsk, tsk, tsk! Sigh! He also says PETA stopped Lufthansa from taking animals to testing labs. That’s criminal really! Animal testing is vital to providing meds for humans and other animals, and to want to ban it is criminally irresponsible and indeed nothing less than monstrous. Miyuki asked for jokes, but William is evidently incapable of humor in his “cause”, so the humor is Hitlerian in his response. “POTTY” is a great name for PETA in parodies. I do want to see that “Mad” mag parody “PETARD” and the POTTY Animal Tripe” one too.

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