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Q&A: Anyone have good redneck jokes?:3?

or blonde jokes? idc… just jokess

The following is the answer:

Answer by lindasmail18
Rent a Jeff Foxworthy video for the Redneck jokes.

Answer by eamon s
a blonde and two brunettes are accused of drug smuggling in indonesia and are going to be executed.
just before the executer fires his gun the first brunette calls out tsunami! and in the confusion escapes.
the next day just before he pulls the trigger the next brunette calls out tornado! and in the confusion escapes.
the next day just before the execution fires the blonde thinks to follow suit and yells at the top of her lungs fire….
get it?

Answer by babyboomer
Here’s one of each:

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare. With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman.

Shortly thereafter he met a redneck who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them.

The redneck simply replied, “They’re lookin’ to get married, so you came to the right place. Look ‘em over and pick the one you want.”

The man dated the first daughter. The next day the redneck asked for the man’s opinion.

“Well,” said the man, “she’s just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice…pigeon-toed.” The redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the redneck again asked how things went. “Well,”the man replied, “she’s just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell…cross-eyed.” The redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, “She’s perfect, just perfect. She’s the one I want to marry.”

So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

“Well,” explained the redneck… “She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell… pregnant when you met her.”
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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, “PULL OVER!”

“NO!” the blonde yelled back, “IT’S A SCARF!”

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!