Hi,I did the following:
Q&A: blonde jokes anyone!?

Enjoy the Funny Blonde Jokes!

Civic Lesson
In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.

A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with “What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?”

Thanksgiving Practical Joke

Last Thanksgiving, my mom decided to play a trick on my sister (who’s blonde). To get her out of the house, she convinced her that we needed more half and half for the coffee.

While my sister was out, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, then put it inside the turkey, packing stuffing all around it. She then put the turkey back in the oven.

When everything was ready, my sister took the turkey out of the oven and began to remove the stuffing. When she felt something, she reached in and pulled out the Cornish hen.

Pretending to be shocked, by mother exclaimed, “Patti, you’ve cooked a pregnant turkey!”

My sister began to cry and was inconsolable. It took us half an hour to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

The Perfect Christmas Tree

Two blondes decided that this Christmas they wanted to cut down their own Christmas tree. So they drove two hours into the country and walked deep into the woods to find the perfect Christmas tree. They had planned the trip well, especially considering that they were blond. They were dressed warmly with boots, warm coats and hats. They had a chain saw, hatchet, a bag to protect the tree and rope to drag it back to their car. Every detail was covered.

They searched and searched. They had gone to all this trouble, nothing but the prefect tree would do. They searched for hours through knee deep snow and biting wind. Finally, five hours later with the sun beginning to go down, one blonde says to the other, “I can’t take this anymore. I give up! There are hundreds of beautiful trees out here. Let’s just pick one whether it’s decorated or not!”

Meeting St. Peter

Three blonde friends died together in a car wreck. They found themselves standing in front of the pearly gates with St. Peter. He told them that before they could enter heaven, they had to tell him what Easter was about.

The first blonde said, “Easter is a big holiday where we give thanks, have a big feast and eat turkey.”

“Nooooo,” said St. Peter. “You don’t get in.”

The second blonde said, “Easter is the holiday that we celebrate Jesus’ being born of the virgin and give gifts to each other.”

“Nooooo,” said St. Peter. “You don’t get in, either.”

The third blonde said, “Well, I know what Easter is all about. Easter is a Christian holiday which coincides with the Jewish Passover. After Jesus celebrated Passover with His disciples, He was betrayed by Judas and turned over to the Romans. They crucified Him on a cross. After He died, they buried him in a tomb and put a huge boulder in front of it.”

“Very good!” said St. Peter.

The blonde continued. “Now, every year, the Jews roll the stone away and Jesus comes out. If He sees his shadow, we have 6 more weeks of basketball.”

St. Peter fainted!

Parachute Jumping

On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”

“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground.”

After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”

The Bet

A blonde and a redhead met for dinner after work and were watching the 6 o’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead that he wouldn’t jump, and the redhead replied, “I’ll take that bet!”

Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the she owned. The redhead said, “I can’t take this, you’re my friend.” The blonde said, “No. A bet’s a bet.”

So the redhead said, “Listen, I have to admit, I saw this one on the 5 o’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”

The blonde replied, “Well, so did I, but I never thought he’d jump again!”

New Puppy

Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?”

This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red

The answer in the following:

Answer by Super Ahole returns… Again?!
Listen i don’t mean to alarm you or anything but asking these questions can and will be lethal to you and everyones health. These type of questions can cause the incredibly rare disease known as super e-coli. Now this super e-coli is not like regular e-coli or other known cases of super e-coli. This super e-coli can kill every single living thing on the planet, and this thing is incredibly hard to kill. Super e-coli can spread through just about anything- computers- humans and yes even homosexuals. Super e-coli can not be treated and once your are infected your heart will absolutely explode within the span of 24 hours. There is no way to avoid death once your infected with super e-coli- there has only been one known case in which someone survived but that person died exactly 3 hours later from advanced super e-coli. Advanced super e-coli can actually make someone cut their own body parts off. Super e-coli once wiped out an entire village of a mass population of about 100,000 in less than an hour. Now the causes for super e-coli are not known but they have been known to spread mostly on Yahoo Answers and Gmail. Once your infected theres no way out your gone in a day. Now how to kill super e-coli? Theres no way to do it. You can only keep it dormant by taking PCP or drinking alligator blood. Its unknown if alligator blood actually does anything but PCP does keep the e-coli dormant. You must be taking PCP every 10 minutes or it will come back faster, stronger, blacker, and deadlier. Super e-coli has no symptoms. The symptoms are unknown- perhaps instant death?

Answer by Saintly Sinner
Hahaha, I’ve seen them all before, but still enjoy a good chuckle at them, thanks.!

Answer by fan of dan
hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah love them all,,,,especially the first one!!
hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahhaaa

Answer by Footie Lauren<3
lol your ones are good

why do blondes keep empty milk cartons in the refridgerator?

incase anyone wants black coffee…

Answer by sunnyday4lyfe
those were great blonde jokes .
my fav were the thanksgiving practical joke & the prefect christmas tree . (:

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