Let’s start the day with a little humor!?
September 7, 2011
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Posted by admin
Hi,I did the following:
Question: Let’s start the day with a little humor!?
Usually this forum is so serious I thought a fun question might lighten today up a bit and get everyone ready for the weekend! Everyone tell your favorite gender joke. Remember be nice and it is all in good fun! Here is mine:
“WOMEN SEEKING MEN” Classifieds translations:
Loves Animals means: Cat lady
Non-traditional means: Ex-husband lives in the basement
LOL Have a good day everyone!!
Edit:
So far so good everyone! I am laughing my @$ $ off today!! Keep them coming everyone!!
The following is the answer:
Answer by newpandaexpressawesome
Famous quote forgot who said it, “women are like elephants, fun to watch but I wouldn’t want to own one.”
Answer by Jools
mine is what’s the difference between ooh and ahh?
about three inches..well tbh i have another but it is way too bad for on here..lol
Answer by Gnu Sense
Important to remember, “into BDSM” does not mean “into Buddhism”, as I discovered when a date ended with me in the emergency room.
Answer by Ronnie
I like that joke with personal ad meanings… here are some more…
30ish means 38
adventurous means promiscuous
non-conventional means crazy
ready to settle down means gold-digger
exotic means ugly
couple of extra lbs fat!
ok, we can do these all day, but I hoped you found these funny!
Answer by garwy
fun-loving : doesn’t get out much
adventurous : comatose
wild : probably dead
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Categories: Today’s Joke
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Tags: humor..., Let's, Little, Start, With
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http://www.bighumor.com/content/3559.html
“To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. ”
Understanding a Woman
We need REALLY MEANS I want
You want REALLY MEANS You need
It’s your decision REALLY MEANS The correct decision should be obvious by now.
We need to talk REALLY MEANS I need to complain
Do what you want REALLY MEANS You’ll pay for this later.
You’re … so manly REALLY MEANS You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
Sure… go ahead REALLY MEANS I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset REALLY MEANS Of course I’m upset, you moron!
You’re certainly attentive tonight. REALLY MEANS Is sex all you ever think about?
I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! REALLY MEANS I’m on my period.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. REALLY MEANS I’m Embarrassed
This kitchen is so inconvenient REALLY MEANS I want a new house.
You have to learn to communicate. REALLY MEANS Just agree with me.
Yes REALLY MEANS No
______________
The Rules
The female always makes the rules.
The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.
No male can possibly know all the rules.
If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all the rules.
The female is never wrong.
If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.
If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.
The female can change her mind at any given point in time for any reason.
The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.
The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.
The female must not, under any circumstances, let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.
Any attempt by the male to document these rules could result in severe bodily harm.
If the female has PMS, all rules are null and void
What I Want in a Man
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative lover
What I Want in a Man Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking (prefer hair on his head)
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10 Seeks romance at least once a week
What I Want in a Man Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3.. Works steady -splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends
What I Want in a Man Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t retell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends
What I Want in a Man Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where the bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. In in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend
What I Want in a Man Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet