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Q&A: Some good Jokes to tell my mates at school?

Do you have any good jokes.

The following is the answer:

Answer by ?
When I was a young minister, a funeral director asked me to hold a grave side service for a homeless man with no family or friends. The funeral was to be at a cemetery way out in the country. This was a new cemetery and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.

I was not familiar with the area and became lost. Being a typical man, of course, I did not ask for directions. I finally found the cemetery about an hour late. The back hoe was there and the crew was eating their lunch. The hearse was nowhere to be seen.

I apologized to the workers for being late. As I looked into the open grave, I saw the vault lid already in place. I told the workers I would not keep them long, but that this was the proper thing to do. The workers, still eating their lunch, gathered around the opening.

I was young and enthusiastic and poured out my heart and soul as I preached. The workers joined in with, “Praise the Lord,” “Amen,” and “Glory!” I got so into the service that I preached and preached and preached, from Genesis to The Revelation.

When the service was over, I said a prayer and walked to my car. As I opened the door, I heard one of the workers say, “I never saw anything like that before and I’ve been putting in septic systems for twenty years.”

Answer by Dudak
(You say) Knock Knock
(They Say) Who’s there?
(You say) Little Boy Blue
(They Say) Little Boy Blue who?
(You say) Micheal Jackson.

LOL

Answer by Mark L
Really rude, but hilarious:

A little boy named Sammy and his older brother named Richard, were both in the bath together one night. Little Sammy looked down at Richard, and then looked up again and said to him, “Ricky, whats that thing you have there?” and he pointed to Richard’s penis. Embarrassed, Richard didn’t know what to say. “Oh….it’s umm…Mr. Willy. Yes. That’s it.” and quickly Sammy replied “Well can I play with him then?”
“No!” Richard quickly answered.
“I’m gonna tell mummy!” Sammy cried.
“No, of course you can! I was joking! But just until we get out of the bath, ok?”
“YAY!” Said Sammy, and started to play.

Later that night the brothers are in bed together, and Sammy turned round and said “Can I play with Mr. Willy again?”
“NO!” Richard snapped.
“I’ll tell mummy!” Said Sammy.
“Fine, but just until we fall asleep.” He replied.

The next morning Richard woke up in hospital with Sammy beside him.
“What happened Sammy?” Richard asked, and then he looked down at his penis. “Oh my God! What the fuck did you do?”
Sammy smiled and said, “Mr. Willy spat at me, so I bit his head off.”

Answer by xdx
you might know this one already but..
on a piece of paper write:
eye yam sofa king we todd did

and make someone say it out loud to see if it makes sense to him.
they will be saying: i am so f***ng retarded…
its pretty funny and works every time i go to a restaurant with someone and we are waiting for our food haha.. of course once they realize it they say im a jerk

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