What is the best animal joke you’ve ever heard?
May 3, 2011
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Posted by admin
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Question: What is the best animal joke you’ve ever heard?
The following is the answer:
Answer by shydreamer2012
this guy goes into a bar with his giraffe…..they both hop up on bar stools and proceed to get ” sloshed “….
sometime during the night, the giraffe slides off the bar stool, hits the floor and passes out….
the guy continues to drink……
when he’s ready to leave, he leaves money on the bar…and starts to walk out……
the bartender sees the giraffe still passed out on the floor and yells at him ” HEY!, you can’t leave that lyin’ on the floor there “…
the drunk guy yells back ” that’s not a LION, it’s a Giraffe !!!”……
Answer by zierenteka
The one about the frog.
A frog walks into a bank and wants a loan. He walks up to a teller and see’s that her name is Patricia Whack. He asks her for a loan, and she says ” do you have some ID or collateral?” He says, “yeah, no problem. Give this little frog trinket to your manager and tell him kermit jagger wants a loan and his father’s name is Mick. He’ll know what to do.” so Patricia goes to the manager and says, “there’s a kermit jagger out here who says his dad’s name is MIck. He wants a loan and said to give you this trinket. What is it?” The manager gets a shocked look on his face and says, “IT’S A KNICK KNACK, PATTY WHACK! GIVE THE FROG A LOAN! HIS OLD MAN’S A ROLLING STONE!”
Answer by easyboy
Its this one…a man found out from the eggs that he bought from the supermarket did not have the ‘yolk’ inside (yolk is that round yellow thing inside the egg). He took it back and complained. The supermarket went and booked the suppliers. A whole investigation started. Finally it all boiled down to the poultry farms where they breed poultry. And mi! you know what they discovered…all the cocks and the hen were doing ‘it’ with condoms!
Answer by Wolfie Wifie
A panda walks into a bar and orders some bamboo. After he eats it, he shoots one of the beer barrels and begins to walk out when the bartender yells “HEY! What do you think you’re doing?!”
The panda takes out his pocket dictionary and looks up the definition of ‘panda’. When he finds it, he gives it to the bartender. It says Panda: Eats shoots and leaves.
Answer by Dan
A rabbit is riding a motorcycle on the highway. While passing
a car, he knocks on the window.
The driver of the car opens the window: ‘Yes ?’
Rabbit: ‘Ever driven a Honda motorcycle ?’
Driver: ‘No I haven’t’
The rabbit drives on, until he sees the next car. While pas-
sing it, he knocks on the window.
The driver of the car opens the window: ‘Yes ?’
Rabbit: ‘Ever driven a Honda motorcycle ?’
Driver: ‘No I haven’t’
Then suddenly there is a curve, the rabbit sees it too late.
He crashes of the road into a ditch. A car stops and a man
runs to the unlucky rabbit. Covered in blood and surely dying,
the rabbit asks: ‘Ever driven a Honda motorcycle ?’
‘Yes I have. I had a Honda for twenty years’ the man answers.
The rabbit asks: Where are the brakes??
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Categories: Today’s Joke
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Tags: Animal, Best, Ever, Heard, Joke, What, You've
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A duck waddles into a bar, jumps up onto the counter, and says to the bartender, “Hey, got any grilled cheese sandwiches?”
The bartender gets all huffy and says, “No, Duck. This is a bar. We serve drinks here. If you want a drink, stay and order. If you don’t, leave.”
So the duck hangs his head, and waddles out of the bar.
The next day, same duck, same bar, same bartender. The duck jumps up onto the bar and says “Hey, Bartender, got any grilled cheese sandwiches?”
The bartender looks at the duck and says, “No, Duck. I’ve told you. This is a bar. We serve drinks. Either order one or leave.”
The duck hangs his head and waddles out of the bar.
Next day, same bartender, same bar, same duck. The duck jumps up onto the bar and says, “Hey Barte-”
The bartender interupts him and says, “I’ve told you before, we haven’t got any grilled cheese sandwiches! This is a bar. We serve drinks. If you come in here and ask me again, I’ll nail your feet to this here bar.”
So, the duck hangs his head, and walks out of the bar.
The next day, same duck, same bar, same bartender. The duck jumps up onto the bar, and says, “Hey, bartender!” The bartender, eyeing him, reaches underneath the counter and then places a hammer on the bar.
“Yes?” the bartender says.
“Got any nails?” asks the duck.
The bartender is dumbstruck. “Well, no.”
“Oh,” says the duck. “Then…got any grilled cheese sandwiches?”
these 3 ducks walk into a bar
the bartender asks first one says his name & how his day has been. He says “oh great. I’ve been beating up puddles all day – it was fun”
The second one says “I’m Louie, I’ve been having a wonderful day. I was beating up puddles. I feel so good”
So then the bartender gets to the 3rd duck and says “I suppose your Dewey?”
The duck says “NO, I’m Puddles. Don’t even ask me how my day was!”
What did the slug say when it caught a ride on the back of a turtle?
WHEEEEEEEEEE!